Making my own happiness

My college roommate Angie and I were having a philosophical discussion one day. During our conversation she gave me a priceless piece of advice that has guided me countless times in the past 10 years. She said something like this: "You can be happy wherever you are if you decide to be. You just have to make your own happiness."

Lately the stress level at our house has been sky high. Kyle is busy perfecting his dissertation, getting job applications ready, working on two or three other research projects, and helping with tithing settlement at church. That leaves everything else, including my own emotional health, to me. My sister I talk to most regularly is building a house right now and is really busy, another sister just moved and is really busy, and all of my friends seem really busy too. Life has been a bit lonely around here. The phone doesn't ring, we don't go on dates, and I spend lots of time with just me and the kids.

So, what have I done to be happy? Yesterday I exercised, but when that didn't seem to be working as well as I'd hoped, I kicked things up a notch. I went to visit my friend Emily, who has a Happy Light. It's a special light used to treat Seasonal Affective Disorder. 20 minutes in front of that and I was feeling pretty good. A few hours later the blahs returned, and my phone still hadn't rung, so I went to Target, finished up some Christmas shopping, and enjoyed the popcorn/soda special for $1.06.

Maybe I'm ready for vacation. Maybe I know the stress isn't going to end and my mind is trying to figure out how to cope. Maybe I'm getting anxious for all the change that's coming next year. Maybe I'm tired from four months of feeding a baby at all hours of the night. Maybe the daily sugar rush from Christmas treats is actually working as a depressant. Whatever it is, I'm in a little funk. I'm hoping the New Year brings lots of good things for me, including a fresh outlook.

Today I made a little bit of my own happiness when I went for an early morning run with my friend Anna. She's coming back from an injury, and I'm still testing the waters after pneumonia, so we were set to run just two miles and then do some walking. When we met up it was lightly snowing. It was still dark, and it was beautiful. The run wasn't fast due to slippery patches, but we enjoyed talking and getting back out there.

You know, you do have to make your own happiness. But if that's not working, you can also contribute to the happiness of others. I guess I'll try to do that too. Kyle certainly needs all the love and support I can muster. Kara's pretty easy to please, she just needs some attention and eye contact. Jillian and Hayden enjoy anything new or fun. I took them out to breakfast for dinner last night while Kyle stayed late at school. They ordered pancakes and I shared my waffle with them. They also love it when I have time to do art projects or throw dance parties with them. We've been doing a lot of both lately. And when I get burnt out and can't quite seem to make my own happiness, Emily's always willing to share her Happy Light.

Amy