I think I'm searching for some different way to express myself. Different than "wife and mother", that is. Unfortunately for my husband, self expression often costs money. I've exhausted the exercise route, seeing as I'm firmly planted in a 5 or 6 day a week habit. I'd like to take up bike riding, but the next 6 months are kinda wet around here, and a bike costs money. I wouldn't mind becoming a better cook, but fancy, tasty ingredients cost money. I have big visions for interior decorating, but I'm saving up money to start those. And I don't have enough "stuff" to just rearrange. We went down to bare bones when we moved, so I really do have to wait. I'm really enjoying the fashion thing, but I've also hit a roadblock with that, since I can only make so many outfits that are cute, new, and stylish out of the wardrobe I have. So anyway, what can I do that doesn't cost money? Kyle would really like it if I kept all of our little budget categories in the black. Here are some options:
- Finish every project I have started. Ooh, I like this one. I could clean out my craft bins and keep busy for at least a few weeks.
- Spend time writing. I have some good story ideas for the Friend magazine. I should just type one out and send it off. I could also do a few poems for old times' sake.
- Sit down and learn a piano piece. They play it for someone.
- Get out the violin and play something. I'm pretty bad at the violin right now, so this one might be quite painful. But pain is good, so I've heard.
- Start Christmas preparations. We do have a budget for this, so I wouldn't get in trouble!
Any thoughts? Any other ideas?
Moving on, but still in the realm of self-improvement; I'm highly motivated to be a good parent these days. It's nice, because any parent knows that sometimes you just want to check out for a while. I think having both Jillian and Hayden in school all day has made me realize how short my time with them really is, and how much influence others have on them. I really want their moments at home to be safe and happy. With that in mind I'm trying to listen and pay attention when they talk to me. I'm also trying to spend some good one-on-one time with each of them. Most importantly for me, I'm trying to lower my voice and have reasonable expectations for their behavior and habits. I'm also communicating all these ideas with Kyle and trying to show our relationship in its best light to the kids. So far so good. It's nice to be in a good place in my parenting. The conscious effort I'm putting in seems to be paying off.
Last one for today: I'm reading a book about a group of women from Ames, Iowa who have been friends for most of their lives. They are in their 40's now. The book is not that great. I can't really recommend it. It's called The Girls From Ames, though, in case you're wondering. Anyway, the author sets forth some interesting facts about women and their friendships. One of them is that if women remain friends into their 40's, they will probably remain friends for life. He also shares research that shows that women often drift away from their female friends in their 20's and 30's, when they are busy raising their own families. But then they trend back towards deep friendships as their children leave the home. I don't want to lose track of my great friends! I am a woman who values friendship a lot, maybe even too much. I'm glad we have blogging, cheap long distance, cell phones for texting, and lots of other ways to keep in touch. I'm so thankful for good friends.
And that's what's on my mind. That and chocolate. Lots of chocolate.
10 comments:
Sounds like you might enjoy a new hobby! Find one that isn't too expensive. :)
I read that book about the friends from Ames; I really liked it.
You play the VIOLIN? Were you ever going to tell your friend who is still planning to be your friend in your 40's?
Your hobby could be tasting all sorts of chocolate. I saw some in the store touting to be from Ghana the other day--you could do a test (does it taste any different than the one from El Salvador?)
Also, I cracked up when I read "lower your voice" in your post. Do you remember when mom would tell us to lower our voices, and we would start talking like we were men in the bass section of the choir?
@ellen: I actually thought of you a lot while reading that book! They have lots of memories like you. I just thought the writing was a little dry.
@mandy: I play the violin about as well as your average 7th grader. Which translates into not well.
@marisa: I don't remember doing that, but it sounds funny!
I always have 2 or twenty projects that I've started or wanted to start, so I would say that's a great place to start!
You've always been such a great mom, way to go on trying even harder! I really need to lower my voice around my children. I tend to yess first, ask questions later and I hate that about myself.
You should make a list of simple goals to accomplish that would improve your home, family, self, and some that are just fun. I LOVE setting goals and checking them off :) It makes you see how much you really ARE accomplishing!!
I'd like to stay on your list of friends for life. Let's work on that. You always motivate me to be my best self.
I think out little group of friends from college has done a pretty good job of bucking the trend that was put forward in the book: we've remained friends and stayed in touch all through our 20s and into our 30s, and I don't see us losing touch ever.
PS: Love the changes to your blog! I'm sure they've been there for a while, but I've been out of commission for a while, so... ;-) But I still love your stinkin' guts!
It would take me alot longer than a few weeks to finish all of the projects I've once started that are now collecting dust in what Ken calls my "crap corner".
Thanks for your thoughts on parenting. You always inspire me to be a better, more patient, more fun mom. And I didn't know you played the violin! Good luck filling up your "spare" minutes. I have no doubt you'll come up with something amazing to do.
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