Here are 10 things I've learned or relearned recently.
- Hayden turned 5 today, which was excellent fun! Five year-olds can be a handful. Luckily we only invited 9 friends, which is well under my limit, because I learned recently that I could take out 17 five year-olds in a fight. Don’t believe me, click here. I only had to fight them one at a time today...phew!
- Men are hard-wired to like the smell of fire. Women are hard-wired to throw away their husband’s “old” clothing. I’m still trying to figure out how women fill this need before they get married.
- I’ve recently learned that the Bean is a really gifted child. But, then I learned that it might just be me (hey don’t spend too much time surfing that website – there’s more to come later).
- Extraordinary women can do extraordinary things. Surprised by that? You shouldn’t be. Because if you are reading this, there is a 95 percent chance you probably have run or are going to run a marathon.
- I learned there are benefits to cleaning the bathroom, besides the obvious clean bathroom. Not first-hand evidence, mind you, but I’m trying an experiment. Maybe to take it to the next level, I should write Hayden’s birthday thank-you notes.
- Blogging is fun…once!
- I learned that guys built like me (lean but ripped?), can be very successful at basketball. Props to a guy with a wily body and deceptive strength. I tag Lee Cummard. Does it matter that I don’t even know what that means?
- Like Stephen Colbert, I do not see race. However, I’ve learned recently that I’m pretty white (#3 also suggests as much), but not as white as I thought, because I will continue to resist the electronic takeover of Apple. Oh yeah, my wife is too (that doesn’t demean #4).
- My wife loves me because she buys me food that will kill me. Usually, these include foodstuffs such as Doritos, Root Beer, and those delicious frozen Taquitos. However, I think she wants to step up the process because she recently bought me some Hot Pockets. Did you know that Hot Pockets are the most dangerous food on the planet? They even have a dojo. I just relearned this interesting, but deadly fact. Forget puffer fish (I’m sure you’re sick of links but there is a good video about an otter and puffer fish on the world wide web), these hot pockets are engineered for maximum mouth destruction. Thanks, but no thanks, Nestlé. Oh, and I’m on to you, honey...and beware if your spouse comes home with Hot Pockets.
- God answers prayer. No link. Just true.
6 comments:
Ok Kyle, your blog was truly enjoyable. Especially loved all the links. And by the way, Apple really is awesome. We have been brainwashed since we live 30 minutes away from Apple and Google headquarters.
You gotta look up comedian Jim Gaffigan and his material on Hot Pockets. Oh yes. And did Amy REALLY buy those?
So funny! Kyle should blog more often, say twice a year maybe. Very insightful, Tall Man. It was good to learn more about my whiteness.
Stop being so funny or people won't want to hear from me anymore. And they were LEAN Pockets, not Hot Pockets. I'm sure those are much better for you. I buy that food so you don't complain too much about all the healthy food I'm usually cramming down your throat, the stuff that will make you live longer. And I can fight 16 5 year-olds. Take that!
Very enlightening, Kyle. Since we haven't seen you guys in about 5 years, it was fun to read your guest blog and remember just how much we used to enjoy your humor.
Kyle, I love that White People website. I have been quoting it all weekend.
Write more often!
Great job, Kyle! I'll tell Clint to come and take a look at your wisdom. Maybe it will inspire him to do a post of his own. Maybe.
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