I have a couple ideas for great fun posts, one of which I was going to do today, but that's not going to happen. I think I'll share with you instead how I'm feeling right now. One of my children got exceptionally mad at me tonight for something trivial. (It won't take a lot of guesswork to figure out which child did this, but play along, okay??) Now, despite being yelled and and even hit by said offspring, I did not yell or hit back. I just sent the offender to her/his room with the directions to take a shower and go to bed. A few minutes later, when my directions were not being obeyed, I asked again, very quietly and politely, for him/her to take a shower and go to bed. Response? "I won't do anything you tell me to ever again until you apologize to me." Wow. Apparently we see things very differently.
Later in the evening I got a half-hearted apology, but it didn't help. My feelings are really hurt. I invest a very large portion of my life and time into caring for my children, and I do take it personally when they yell mean things at me. I think it hurts even more because I have been trying very hard with this particular child, making one-on-one time a priority, giving praise, etc. Now I'm kind of at a loss. I'm tempted to leave him/her on his/her own tomorrow, giving a little taste of what life without Mom would be like.
Why do these little people bring us such joy and such heartache? What would you do? Me, I ate 10 gumdrops (citrus-flavored from Trader Joe's. Really good.), 2 squares of dark chocolate, and a spoonful of peanut butter. And then I went on Pinterest.
Ugh.
Amy
5 comments:
oh, I'm sorry Amy. You are an excellent mother. I would pray for guidance.
Amy - this is my life. I feel your pain. My child who is absolutely cruel to me at times is also the one I spend sleepless nights fretting over, Sunday afternoons planning for, and ignore siblings sometimes all afternoon to accommodate. It drove me last night to consume an ENTIRE package of girl scout somoa cookies, watch a movie, and get out of bed late this morning because of the severe dread I had in seeing him again. I also am at a total loss.
I realize that the only chance I ever get at feeling okay is when I know I have not yelled or said anything incredibly rude back. If you find something that works for more than 3 days, let me know.
GOOD LUCK! Really! I will be praying for you. Maybe we can remember each other when our children are screaming how much they hate us (or as in this morning's example "You are a total failure as a mother.") Sometimes I want to hyperventilate or kick in a wall. Typing this out has now led me to see very clearly why I have eating issues.
Anyway - onward and upward. I know there is nothing the Lord cannot help us with, and he loves these little ones too.
I have no idea what to do, but I'm sorry. When my kids do that to me later I'll call you and find out what to do. Hope you feel better. You're a good mom, and I hope you know it!
I've had those days. They stink. Sorry. I'm impressed with your self control in the post-epic fail snack department. Good work on that one.
Sounds to me like you handled the whole thing really well, relative to the issue. I don't think that qualifies as an epic fail. My mothering issues are different at the moment, though frustrating as well so I have no advice based on experience. But I do remember being a major stinker to my mother, even incurring a slap in the face for my sass once (now that might qualify as an epic fail, though I am sure I deserved it!)--and guess what? I am well-adjusted (could be debatable) and I absolutely cherish and adore my mother. I don't hold any of those moments against her. And your child (whoever it may be, I'm not confident I've got it figured out) will probably not even remember these days. Try not to let it get to you. Kids are still working on their self-control. You are an amazing woman and mother. Get yourself a mantra and pretend you're climbing a massive hill in a marathon. There's a vista ahead. :)
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